About YenAlia

Why YenAlia (YenAl) Creates? 

Let me begin with YenAlia (or YenAl). You may think it's a combination of two names, but it's not. It is from the real name that I interchanged (the syllable) so that those who know me won't find out (because I'm shy). I added the word Creates because I love creating something new.

My Present Status: Positively Searching (for the lost part of me)

Enthusiastically picking up the pieces of the broken me to complete the torn apart puzzle of my life, discover who I am, and become the person I was destined to be.

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An Update

My puzzle is almost done, but my struggles are yet to come. I have accepted the fact that those problems are inevitable, and it's up to me to go on or wander again to avoid the painful result.  I chose to face them all to complete my puzzle.

My Story

I am a Filipina whose native language is Bisaya (the majority of the people living in Visayas and Mindanao speak this dialect) and I did not major in English. I create content because I love doing it even if sometimes I struggle with correcting my English. I use Grammarly (grammar checker) back then, but it's frustrating because I use it for free. I need to manually find the errors and correct them (unless I'll use a computer where Grammarly is installed). Thankfully, I found out that Google Docs corrects English errors too (only the basics and only when I'm online), so I stopped using Grammarly to correct my contents, let Google Docs find the errors, and use its suggested words or phrases. I hope the readers of my content will understand.

Finding The Right Path

This is the third time I'm finding myself again, and trying to get back up. 

Around 4 years ago, I was ready to face the real world. I graduated way back in 2016 and pursued my dream of starting a food business. That dream came true, but it ended before I even did a formal opening.

In 2017, I struggled with depression. Suicide thoughts never left my brain. I was so down that I stopped socializing. I chained and locked myself. I never allowed anybody to get in because I lost my trust in any person including my family. I hate reminiscing those days.

August 31, 2017, was the day I started working for a company that ruined me again. I was trying to pick up the ruined pieces of myself and hoping this job can help me move on, but the result was the opposite.

I did not give up and found a team where I found happiness. I have networked and built connections with famous professionals including authors and some big entrepreneurs, but I deleted my social networks. I'm not certain why I did that, but it was too late when I realized that the decision was a huge mistake. I was controlled with my emotions like the grief that I just want to forget everything and disappear.

Nobody knew what I went through because I know that the sad emotions I have can be transferred to the people I'll share my story so I kept my feelings within. I did not show others my open wounds I'm trying to heal all by myself. It was very tough, but with my faith, I was able to get back up.

I got a new job, but I deteriorated like when I started my food business. The job was not that tough compared to my tasks when I worked for my food business because that entrepreneurial endeavor was beyond my capacity (and I was alone). After around 6-months (before my contract ended) I quit. I felt it was not worth my efforts.

Now I'm back in my room trying to find myself all over again. I think God gave these challenges to help me become stronger and wiser. I was a very slow, weak, and fragile child. My father often punishes me for these traits I have, but the punishments worsened my condition. I started separating myself from everyone. I keep on a hiding to avoid conflict. I apologize for the mistakes I did not make. I felt like garbage.

The past is gone, but the pain is still within. If you look at me now, you may not believe that I went through all those challenges. Many people are even intimidated by me. I do not know why, but I think an aura (from I don't know where) comes out unconsciously when I'm around people. My friends look up at me. One even said that she's proud of me, but I am not proud of myself, I am proud of them.

I am very thankful to those people (especially my friends) who keep on believing in me and who always find ways to help me. I am not stopping because of them. I'll keep on working until I will find what I was destined to become and fulfill my purpose in this world. 

The story of this blog

I started blogging when I was in college. My purpose as a blogger at that time was to fulfill the requirement of my internet marketing subject.

After graduation, I stopped publishing my write-ups. Then many ups and downs happened that brought me back to blogging. I don't have a fixed purpose when I started anew. Then I heard my friend was diagnosed with cancer and he needs financial assistance. At that time I took my blog seriously.

I wrote many titles for the articles I want to post which are related (mostly) to the environment, depression, development, and more. I said in my other blog (Aimpormer) that I advocate for the environment, children, and the depressed. I truly want to help them, but I didn't know how. I thought my blog can help, but I think I need to do something different to be effective. So I paused blogging to brainstorm and look for sustainable solutions to the problems related to my advocacies.

Hopefully, my current endeavors can lead me to the right path, and maybe one day I can help in uplifting my countrymen specifically the children who lost their way because of poverty. Many children have great potential. I saw it when I was involved in an outreach program and when I started observing those kids on the streets.

I pray one day,  all of those kids can be properly fed not just with food, but also with the knowledge to become good citizens of any nation and be an asset to the world.