Antidepression - Conquering Depression Alone
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| Drown the bitter past and smile it away |
Based on My Own Experience
“ It’s not easy. If you have weak faith, you will certainly feel more pain. “
Note: Please click the “ Disclaimer and More” found on the homepage and read it. Depression is not a joke and it needs to be attended before it destroys an individual’s well being.
How did I know I was depressed?
My depression ( story ) began when I was around 5 years old. I have so many fears back then. I have many traumatic experiences when I was in my childhood. Suicide thoughts started circling my brain when I was around 8 years old. The emotional and physical pain caused by violence in our home and outside is unbearable to me. I often woke up at night or dawn with tears falling or a wet pillow. I was not aware of the condition I was in until I experienced the worst. It was in 2017 when my hands weakened that I cannot even bring a tablespoon of food into my mouth. Severe headache attacked that caused me to shiver then reach unconsciousness for a few seconds. Tinnitus came and then I started hearing voices that sound so real, but they are not there. I even reached a point wherein I cannot stop my tears from falling. I was on public transport at that time when the thoughts of my sufferings came in my brain and the tears became uncontrollable. Even if I shifted my thoughts to some positive one, my tears kept on dropping.
It was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life that I don’t want to happen again, so I researched my condition. Thankfully, Google provided me great results. Through the different medical websites, I found out I was suffering from depression. I did not bother going to a licensed physician or psychologist around my area because I lost my trust in them, but some conditions have similar symptoms with depression so it’s better to go to a doctor to know the facts.
Is it possible to cure depression alone?
Based on my experience, yes, it is absolutely possible, but I am not saying you do not need anybody or anything to heal depression. I used many tools or materials to cure myself, that includes my phone and internet.
How did I conquer depression alone?
With the help of technology, I was able to explore the world with my Android phone. I have read stories of different people who have suffered in different ways including those children who are deprived of their rights because of poverty and war. That was when I realized that I am still blessed. I almost lost my faith in God, but then I keep on seeing signs of guidance. There was a time when I was about to push the knife (I was washing) to my heart, then Sia’s song, “The Greatest” played with the lyrics “Don’t give up, I won’t give up. No. No. No.” was the first part I heard. The song has an intro and I was actually playing my motivational playlist at that time, but I honestly did not notice the previous songs until the part mentioned above.
My faith in God and the Qur’an (in the app called Muslim Pro) played a vital role in my healing. One of my favorites (which I currently use as my phone’s background picture) is Al-An’aam Verse 102 - 103, “ That is Allah, your Lord! there is no God but He, the Creator of all things: then worship ye Him: and He has the power to dispose of all affairs. No vision can grasp Him, but His grasp is over all vision: He is above all comprehension, yet is acquainted with all things.”
Another verse I set as my lock screen wallpaper, “Follow what thou art taught by inspiration from thy Lord: there is no God but He: and turn aside from those who join gods with Allah” (Al-An’aam 106). I am not against any individuals with different beliefs. I respect other religions, especially the people who are following those religions (unless they are the corrupt type of people).
Motivational books like “Think and Grow Rich”, YouTube channels such as “Fearless Soul” or “Mel Robbins” and music e.g. “The Greatest” by Sia helped me return to my senses.
This blog helped me too. I was able to express my emotions in this blog. Through writing, the pain I felt was relieved because I was able to say what I want to say that makes my tears flow. Even today, reading the post in drafts makes me feel emotional that my eyes become watery. I did not publish some of my writings because I think it's too painful.
This blog helped me too. I was able to express my emotions in this blog. Through writing, the pain I felt was relieved because I was able to say what I want to say that makes my tears flow. Even today, reading the post in drafts makes me feel emotional that my eyes become watery. I did not publish some of my writings because I think it's too painful.
Read “About YenAlia” for more :)
